Thinking Twice about Sex: Why to Say 'No'

I remember watching popular movies when I was younger with my friends such as The Notebook or Valentine’s Day. As I watched I remember being so excited to have a husband one day that I’m crazy about that I can be with all the time. 

But looking back, I remember what those movies were about getting attention from the opposite sex and having sex. It’s disheartening that these character’s lives of infidelity and premarital sex have become normalized and very common in our culture. Good looks have become more important than moral standards and personality. Going to straight to sex is normal compared to dating and marriage.

So why is infidelity and being sexually active before marriage such a big deal if it’s so common?

It’s such a big deal because having sex with someone that you don’t even know or haven’t fully committed to through marriage creates attachment between the two of you. Your body releases chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin and norepinephrine that make you attracted to the other person and that makes you feel good. Sex was meant to be within the bounds of marriage to bring a couple together and to bring children into the world. 

We see that children are becoming sexually active earlier and earlier and that there has been an increase in STD and HIV’s. Being sexually active will affect their lives forever! When people have sex, it influences and changes them. It changes the way their brain processes.

If a couple, or even two people that have just met, jump straight to sex there is no relationship history that they have to make that meaningful. It’s empty. They are left with feelings of guilty and loneliness. To feel loved and accepted they then have to have sex with some else. But, when it’s with a spouse their marriage is filled with meaning and is strengthened.

If someone chooses to have sex outside of marriage, and perhaps with multiple partners, it’s important to take steps that will keep them protected from disease and even pregnancy if the partners can’t give the proper care to that child. Condoms and birth control will lower the chances of pregnancy and disease.

As a woman, and as a future mother, I want to impower woman and men to know that having abstinence gives you power. There is power in saying no. If someone only wants sex, which sadly has become a norm, and you give them sex, that’s that. They don’t want sex to be closer to you or to show love, it’s all infatuation and lust after your body. Don’t give that away! You have something beautiful that should be saved for your spouse and no one else. 

As we decide to have abstinence and decide to date and get to know people before being sexually active, we will develop self-control and respect for the opposite sex. We can make a difference in this world where moral values have decreased as we take a stand and say no. By saying no we are influencing future generations for good. We are preventing children from being born in a situation that wouldn't be the best for their development. We are helping our nation to see the importance of family. We can make a difference; one family at a time.